Tights Punishment: I Got My Son in Pantyhose! A Petticoat Discipline Guide for Moms

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Tights Punishment: I Got My Son in Pantyhose! A Petticoat Discipline Guide for Moms

Tights Punishment: I Got My Son in Pantyhose! A Petticoat Discipline Guide for Moms

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Then, the very next Sunday, my best friend Vicky, who had also received The Gift of the Pantyhose, wore hers to church with a beautiful green velvet dress her mother had sewn by hand. I glanced up the road to make sure my car was parked between the lines, then down at my dog to make sure she wasn’t defecating on the sidewalk like she sometimes did. Which I knew was a credible argument because my parents were good friends with Vicky’s parents, and my mother knew Vicky’s mother had sound judgment. If your piece of hosiery has runs in the foot, you could, instead, cut a section of nylon from the leg, stitch one end, turn it inside out, and stuff the resulting bag. OKAY, okay, so I can’t roll my husband’s winter studded bike tires over them, but still pretty dang impressive if my own winter-rough hands can’t make a dent.

European men have been sporting hose for several years, but the trend has been slow to catch on in the U. I’ve rolled around on the floor with my baby, pulled different shoes on and off, and there isn’t one tear or a heel rubbed away, WHAT? Well, since I had sacks full of old nylons, and plenty of odds and ends in my scrap bag, the notion appealed to me. I jerked back from the wooden table, then watched, horrified, as two parallel lines began to creep over my knee, then down my calf, all the way to my patent leather toes. Which is what I was saying the following Sunday when, five minutes before church was to begin, my mother found me standing in my bedroom, holding the L’eggs in my outstretched hand.If you’d like to make your creation blue-eyed or brown-eyed, simply take one strand of colored embroidery thread and sew in circles around the orbs until you have achieved the desired effect.

In a groundbreaking moment that may have lasting effects on wardrobes everywhere, moms have announced today that they have no idea why you don’t wear pantyhose under your jeans, because it is normal to do that. To create your little person’s “crowning glory,” glue fluffs of polyester fiberfill onto the top of its head or arrange yarn in different “styles. So, whether you’re interested in preserving an old art form or experimenting with a new one, I think you’ll find that pantyhose people are entertaining to make and can quite possibly bring you in some extra cash, too!

That’s when I took off screaming to find my dad and ask why I couldn’t, please, just wear the Tonka pants of which I was so fond. Dab glue on the other end of the stick that’s already attached to the head, and poke it into the cavity you created in the body, making certain that none of the wood is showing.

It was a joke that never got old, not even in middle school, or later, in high school, when I would see Christy across the room at a party and scream, “That’s my beer!As I put them on for the first time, I immediately reverted back to old habits and began ever-so-gingerly working the tights up my legs while praying they stayed together. Myrtle retires from show business after giving birth to daughters Iris ( Mona Freeman) and Mikie (Connie Marshall), while her husband goes on tour with another partner.

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